A moment of honesty...


Sometimes I doubt myself as a mother, and that is normal.
Or at least I think so, but lately it feels like I doubt myself a lot.

I just want Lilly to sleep.
She wakes up and screams for HOURS in the middle of the night.
I know motherhood is hard, but this is making me crazy.
I feel like I have done something wrong.
I broke her, she is broken... and I need some sleep.

The other night after her screaming from 3-4:30 I put her in her crib, closed the door, and went and got back in bed. Actually I went and got on inflatable mattress we have been sleeping on, in the living room, in an attempt to get some sleep. I fell back asleep, and she cried herself to sleep. I seriously felt like a failure of a mother.

I have to remember this will end.
She is a baby, she is not broken.
One day she will sleep, and I will sleep.

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